Singin’ in the Rain

A triangular box arrived on Tuesday.   Brown cardboard, over three feet long and a total mystery.  Serendipity I thought.   What I really need is a new tripod.   Was this a shiny new model which would enable me to take drop dead gorgeous photographs?  Was it sent by a well wisher or  unknown admirer?  I tackled the box.

It was seriously sealed.  Lots of weatherproofing which should have given me a clue.  It needed a sharp knife – even a scalpel.  Really, it was almost laminated.  I examined the small packing slip – few clues as to sender or contents there.  I persevered with the package, pealing back the cardboard.  Ah.  Not the tripod of my dreams but a long green…GustBuster umbrella with lifetime warranty.

Not for Mary Poppins

This umbrella is huge.   Enough for two or three people but no good for Mary Poppins.  It has, the tag says, Teardrop Wind-Release Vents TM.  In other words the wind whistles straight through the canopy and you stay grounded.  In Manhattan last winter I was almost blown into an oncoming phalanx of yellow cabs. I grimly gripped my umbrella with both hands. Finally it popped into reverse. I was saved from the cabs, but drenched. The umbrella was history. It joined its flimsy cousins heaped round trash containers on Fifth Avenue. The GustBuster is apparently unflippable, unflappable and unleakable.

Brollies, Gamps, Bumbershoots, Parasols and ‘Brellas

I wish I’d had had a Gustbuster with me on the Great Wall of China.  It was pouring.   Luckily local entrepreneurial women cluster round tourist buses selling umbrellas at the mere hint of  raindrops.  They chant “Brella! Brella!” China has quite a history of umbrellas.  The vast armies of  Terracotta warriors which were unearthed at Xian had theirs.  The ancient Greeks used them, so did the Romans.

In London a fine, well-furled, umbrella is the accessory of every gentleman aspiring to sartorial savoir fair.   As for women a collection of umbrellas was de rigueur.  Shades of pastels and perhaps polka dots for summer.  Somber shades for winter.

The late Princess Diana and Fergie caused a scandal when they used them to nudge their friends at fashionable Ascot.  My mother claimed a red umbrella lifted spirits and flattered the face on a rainy day.  My father caused incredulous laughter when he arrived in Southern California with a huge one in primary colours.  He explained it was his golf umbrella – an unusual and unnecessary accessory in sunny SoCal.  As for Gene Kelly Singin’ in the Rain – he gave them a whole new dimension.

Any Umbrellas to Fix today?

A popular song in the forties, but an anachronism today in the era of the collapsible disposable.  Which brings me back to the Gustbuster. Not only does it have a lifetime warranty but it is certified by the College of Aeronautics to withstand winds of 55 mph+.   The design is patented, it resists lightening and comes in styles ranging from Doorman to SunBLOK to fold-up.   Colors range from basic black to stars and stripes or camouflage.

I tried it in the first storm of the season yesterday – it worked.  I was snug and dry.  I shall be singin’ in the rain.  It was too wet for tripod and camera anyway.  TTFN

Gene Kelly Singin’ in the Rain – Warning – this sound begins right away!